*I want to start off this post by saying to remember to be kind. I know you hear that a lot, but here is another reminder. You don’t know what battles people are mentally/secretly fighting everyday.  You don’t know the shame, guilt and constant overthinking someone is experiencing. Sometimes the grass isn’t greener on the other side and sometimes that person is just trying their best that day.

The Basic Housewife Diaries-Basic Mom Life

 Everyone’s concerned about Post Partum Depression. Try not to get anxiety over not getting anxiety. Ha, just add it to the list of motherhood responsibilities. I knew people were concerned with me getting PPD (Post Partum Depression) because I suffer from anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medicine since high school and before getting pregnant was the first time I was getting off of it. Being pregnant and even the first months of Arlo’s life my anxiety was at bay. I wasn’t that high school girl anymore and could deal with stress in different and more healthy ways so I was proud in the fact that I felt like I didn’t need medicine anymore.

As I am writing this, Arlo is a little under 8 ½ months old. They stop screening for PPD at 6 months. I’ve recently become more tired, agitated and then more tired. My husband has also pointed out that I don’t seem as happy. Add in a sleep regression, crawling and pulling himself up and having to be constantly watched, I’m feeling exhausted. Like when someone comes over or my husband comes home I basically just give Arlo to them and am relieved I have a free minute to relax. But then I can’t settle! I can’t nap, can’t do chores, just feel like I have to be watching Arlo.

Then one day, my husband let me sleep in. I slept in until 8am. I woke up like a new woman. I felt great and happy and wanted to snuggle my baby and play with him. Is that all I needed? Was a somewhat decent night of sleep? But as the day went on, I grew tired again. Maybe it was the very busy weekend we had, maybe I just need another decent night of sleep.

If it is PPD, it snuck up on me. I thought I was doing so well. I really did. But to have someone say they’ve noticed you act differently and other people telling you, you look really tired was hard to deal with. But then again, I’m realizing my symptoms instead of suppressing them.  

So now that I have been aware of my behavior I can try to see if I can help myself before it gets out of hand. I guess this would be the appropriate time to use the phrase…#selfcare.

If I have to go back on medicine, it’ll be okay. I believe that anxiety medicine does help people. I’m going to try other methods first and see how that affects me. I’ll give you updates on how I’m dealing with everything since PPD isn’t talked about enough when you become a mother. Sure, they make you aware of it, but taking care of your baby usually trumps you stopping to take care of your mental health. 

XOXO

Your Tired Basic Mom

Update-Still Tired, Still Struggling, Still Trying

Arlo is now 11 months. And from the time that I first wrote the above post to now, my emotions have been all over the place. Some days it’s hard, really hard. I work from home and sometimes don’t get out of the house for days and that takes a toll on your mental health. You may think that working and getting to stay at home is a real treat but after doing it for 11 months, it’s lonely.

It’s confusing because life is good. So, incredibly good. I have a warm home, a loving family, some really good supporting friends and the list can go on and on. So then why does do those negative feelings get to creep into my mind and overshadow the good. Then comes the emotional outbursts towards my husband, then the exhaustion of having that outburst, the anxiety attacks that come from nowhere and the impending doom feeling. It wasn’t until family members repeatedly told me that I looked exhausted and when I started having nightmares every single night that I knew I needed to talk and get these feelings out.

It takes such a strong, conscience effort to remain positive and keep good emotions flowing through your body at all times. I find my best days are when family surrounds me so I’m going to hang on to those moments. I’m trying to give all my negative emotions/thoughts/feelings to God. My mom gave me some insight on that. She said, “Paige, God doesn’t put those thoughts of negativity in your head. That is not coming from him.” It helped me feel some relief that I’m not supposed to be repeatedly punishing myself for things that I have said, done and regretted in the past. Time to let the past be the past. I’ve learned my lessons and I have the grace and mercy from God to move forward. I feel the emotion and instead of holding onto it, I let it go.

At times I really struggle, I can’t explain why and there’s no true reason, which makes it harder to explain. But I know that other people struggle too. You do the best you can and try to show the same love, mercy and grace that you have received.

I’m not complaining about being a mom, I knew that PPD and other feelings can/probably will happen, I’m just trying to navigate it the best way I can.

Let me know if you have any advice or tips on how you or someone you knew battled against Post Partum Depression.

XOXO

Your Basic Mom