Basic Traditions

Hi!

So since our last couple posts have kind of been heavy I thought this week we would lighten things up. And what is more basic than talking about Christmas Traditions.

First off, I CANNOT believe Christmas is right around the corner. I DID NOT like how close Thanksgiving and Christmas were this year. I felt like it was hard to really get into the Christmas spirit.

I am someone who will hold off on putting up Christmas decorations until after Thanksgiving. Let the turkey have some time to shine (side note-I am now envisioning Kylie Jenner singing, “Rise and Shine” to a turkey so there’s that). And if you don’t know what I’m talking about please look it up ASAP.

It took me a little later to decorate this year because, well, it’s expensive to decorate! I had to wait until some money came in so then I could go splurge at Hobby Lobby. We moved into our home last year and I quickly realized how expensive decorating a home is so I have to do it a little at a time. Each year, I’ll grow my Christmas decorations until I have a good collection that I’ll use for the next 50 years.

So there I go into Hobby Lobby, which have had Christmas decorations out since Halloween, and become immediately overwhelmed because that’s just what Hobby Lobby does to me. I’m like, again Hobby Lobby?, one time can I just come in, get what I want and leave without my mind spinning?????

So I’m cruising, I have Arlo with me who is being such a good boy and getting compliments from so many grammys, and soon enough my cart is filled to the top. I felt great coming out of there, excited to decorate my whole home with the Christmas spirit.

I finish decorating in about 10 minutes and realized that that cart full of stuff I got only decorated 1 room. Like what the heck?! So, the holiday spirit in 5 other rooms will have to wait until next year. It is what it is. I do like how I’ve decorated the living room and my mantle so that’s a plus.

There are a couple of Frick basic Christmas traditions that I partake in. Every year, we get our Christmas tree the day after Thanksgiving. And every year its borderline miserable. But that’s the tradition! My dad likes to annoy my mom throughout the year and tell her the countdown of when we are getting the tree. In the middle of summer he will say, only 5 more months until we get the tree! Literally, the day after we get the tree he will start the countdown. My poor mother. But every year we go and it has to be perfect conditions for my dad for it to be enjoyable. It CANNOT be warm, not super cold, no rain, lightly snowing is acceptable, and the least amount of work is prime. I’m still waiting for those perfect conditions, but every year we try. It’s miserably fun.

Next is Christmas cookies! This is usually a fun time where I do a lot of the work. It’s okay, I enjoy baking. Nothing like cookies and Christmas music to get you in the holiday spirit. Last year, I was making cookies 2 days before I gave birth to Arlo. I had this spurt of energy and was a cookie making machine. This year, Hope and I got in a HORRIBLE fight, so it was not enjoyable at all. I finished making cookies at home. Don’t worry we are perfectly fine now as she is on her way to my house with sushi.

My favorite cookies to make are the traditional sugar cookies, peanut butter cookies with the Hershey kiss in the middle, and this year I tried out Oreo cheesecake balls. I highly suggest the oreo balls, super easy and such a crowd pleaser. I also tested out the peanut butter cookies with hugs Hershey kisses (white and milk chocolate swirled) and also used chocolate chips instead of a big Hershey kiss so that way you had peanut butter and chocolate in every bite. Turned out great!

Next Christmas tradition that I want to start doing more are Christmas Markets. Cue the, “when I studied abroad” basic girl voice. But seriously when I was in Europe I went to a bunch of Christmas markets. They were the best! Actually, when Jeremiah and I first started dating he took me to Mifflinburg’s Christkindl Market. It was such a perfect date. There was hot wine, It was lightly snowing, it was the perfect temperature outside and not too crowded. Hallmark contacted us later asking if we would star in one of their new Christmas movies but we politely declined.

So this year we went to one right around the corner in Dillsburg. It didn’t compare much to Mifflinburg’s Christkindl market but it was still enough to have fun with Arlo. Next year I plan on going back to Mifflinburg and you should put it on your list of Christmas things to do too!

So as Christmas is quickly approaching, we are almost out of time for Christmas traditions. We plan on having Christmas Eve at our house this year with family and then going up to Jeremiah’s parents house on Christmas. We usually go to Christmas Eve service, but after that we don’t have any traditions.

Let me know if you have any fun traditions that we can try out next year! I’m excited to hear about what everyone else does.

XOXO,

Your Basic Housewife and Mom

Wrong is Write

I have a confession to make…

Every post that I’ve shared on Girl, Same are actually old posts from my social media pages. I wasn’t trying to be lazy or cop out, but they had each been important messages to me that I wanted to share on this platform. With that being said, my post below is NEW and original! Lucky you!

For the past four months, I’ve been a part of a leadership program that explores the different aspects and components of communities and community to learn more about how each supports leadership. This month’s session centered on Arts & Culture, which I actually felt pretty comfortable with thanks to my role as Arts & Culture contributor for SaraBozich.com. Since I’ve started writing for Sara at the beginning of 2018, I’ve probably seen/attended at least 3 shows every month…mostly performances I would not usually attend if it wasn’t my “job” to. So, I felt like I had a pretty good grasp on how arts and culture strengthen our communities and all those ideas I assumed were going to be shared during the session.
During a panel discussion with three members of the local arts community, I began reflecting on how art has changed my life. Sure, I love going to the shows, concerts, performances, exhibits, etc. I cover for Sara…but it’s the fact that I’m even going there at all that has changed my life.

Like I said, I began writing for Sara in early 2018 as I was recovering (or failing to recover) from a particularly harmful and traumatic 2017. I had broken up with Jonny the year before and began dating someone else who turned out to be a completely different person than I knew him to be. We broke up, and the break was extremely painful and really rocked me to my core. As we’ve shared before, Paige and I have had a traumatic past and I had confided in this person, but in the end, he just used that pain and hurt to hurt me even more. So, this break left me shattered and I had no idea who I really was and began to hate myself and just became hot mess express.

I’ve always enjoyed writing, because it came easily to me…which I know doesn’t happen for most people. Some people are good at basketball, I am not. Some people are good at math, I am not. Some people aren’t good at writing, but I am. It’s a “skill” I’ve come to realize I’ve been very blessed to be given. So, when there was an opportunity to write and fill the free time I’ve filled with self-loathing, I took it. My world expanded through the different experiences, lifestyles, perspectives and people I was shown through the events I attended and I’ve filled my friendship network with some amazing, giving, talented, welcoming, beautiful people. I’m really thankful my writing has given me that.

But what writing has given me the most, is myself. It gave me healing. It gave me reflection. It gave me blank spaces to move forward. It gave me neutrality. It gave me a judgement free zone. It gave me a place where my weight didn’t matter. It gave me a space that was OK if I came to it with no make up on, if I came to it instead of going to the gym, if i came to it in mismatching socks. It gave me confidence. It gave me beauty. It gave me strength.

I’ve realized that I enjoy writing so much because it’s one of the only places I feel strong. I acknowledge my faults (people say I do it too much and am too self-deprecating) and know I’m not confident in very many things. But when I write, it’s one of the only things or places where I feel smart, where I feel confident, where I feel like I know 100% what I’m doing. And it turns out, that’s a really, really good feeling. I realize I have a voice, that I am allowed to have a voice, and that I am allowed to share it. I am worth being heard and listened to. I am allowed to be loud and be messy and say what I want (WITHIN REASON) and writing let’s me do that.

The fact that Sara gave me a chance to write every week still amazes me and I will always be thankful she has given me that opportunity. And the fact that Paige and I got this blog off the ground and people besides my mom and Jonny and my sister listen to me ramble amazes me even more. So to end this, I say thank you to everyone who has clicked on my posts, who has read them, who has commented, who has double-tapped my Instagram photos, who has shared a Story…you make me stronger each and every day.

Love you most,

Hope

Let's Talk About It

*I want to start off this post by saying to remember to be kind. I know you hear that a lot, but here is another reminder. You don’t know what battles people are mentally/secretly fighting everyday.  You don’t know the shame, guilt and constant overthinking someone is experiencing. Sometimes the grass isn’t greener on the other side and sometimes that person is just trying their best that day.

The Basic Housewife Diaries-Basic Mom Life

 Everyone’s concerned about Post Partum Depression. Try not to get anxiety over not getting anxiety. Ha, just add it to the list of motherhood responsibilities. I knew people were concerned with me getting PPD (Post Partum Depression) because I suffer from anxiety. I’ve been on anxiety medicine since high school and before getting pregnant was the first time I was getting off of it. Being pregnant and even the first months of Arlo’s life my anxiety was at bay. I wasn’t that high school girl anymore and could deal with stress in different and more healthy ways so I was proud in the fact that I felt like I didn’t need medicine anymore.

As I am writing this, Arlo is a little under 8 ½ months old. They stop screening for PPD at 6 months. I’ve recently become more tired, agitated and then more tired. My husband has also pointed out that I don’t seem as happy. Add in a sleep regression, crawling and pulling himself up and having to be constantly watched, I’m feeling exhausted. Like when someone comes over or my husband comes home I basically just give Arlo to them and am relieved I have a free minute to relax. But then I can’t settle! I can’t nap, can’t do chores, just feel like I have to be watching Arlo.

Then one day, my husband let me sleep in. I slept in until 8am. I woke up like a new woman. I felt great and happy and wanted to snuggle my baby and play with him. Is that all I needed? Was a somewhat decent night of sleep? But as the day went on, I grew tired again. Maybe it was the very busy weekend we had, maybe I just need another decent night of sleep.

If it is PPD, it snuck up on me. I thought I was doing so well. I really did. But to have someone say they’ve noticed you act differently and other people telling you, you look really tired was hard to deal with. But then again, I’m realizing my symptoms instead of suppressing them.  

So now that I have been aware of my behavior I can try to see if I can help myself before it gets out of hand. I guess this would be the appropriate time to use the phrase…#selfcare.

If I have to go back on medicine, it’ll be okay. I believe that anxiety medicine does help people. I’m going to try other methods first and see how that affects me. I’ll give you updates on how I’m dealing with everything since PPD isn’t talked about enough when you become a mother. Sure, they make you aware of it, but taking care of your baby usually trumps you stopping to take care of your mental health. 

XOXO

Your Tired Basic Mom

Update-Still Tired, Still Struggling, Still Trying

Arlo is now 11 months. And from the time that I first wrote the above post to now, my emotions have been all over the place. Some days it’s hard, really hard. I work from home and sometimes don’t get out of the house for days and that takes a toll on your mental health. You may think that working and getting to stay at home is a real treat but after doing it for 11 months, it’s lonely.

It’s confusing because life is good. So, incredibly good. I have a warm home, a loving family, some really good supporting friends and the list can go on and on. So then why does do those negative feelings get to creep into my mind and overshadow the good. Then comes the emotional outbursts towards my husband, then the exhaustion of having that outburst, the anxiety attacks that come from nowhere and the impending doom feeling. It wasn’t until family members repeatedly told me that I looked exhausted and when I started having nightmares every single night that I knew I needed to talk and get these feelings out.

It takes such a strong, conscience effort to remain positive and keep good emotions flowing through your body at all times. I find my best days are when family surrounds me so I’m going to hang on to those moments. I’m trying to give all my negative emotions/thoughts/feelings to God. My mom gave me some insight on that. She said, “Paige, God doesn’t put those thoughts of negativity in your head. That is not coming from him.” It helped me feel some relief that I’m not supposed to be repeatedly punishing myself for things that I have said, done and regretted in the past. Time to let the past be the past. I’ve learned my lessons and I have the grace and mercy from God to move forward. I feel the emotion and instead of holding onto it, I let it go.

At times I really struggle, I can’t explain why and there’s no true reason, which makes it harder to explain. But I know that other people struggle too. You do the best you can and try to show the same love, mercy and grace that you have received.

I’m not complaining about being a mom, I knew that PPD and other feelings can/probably will happen, I’m just trying to navigate it the best way I can.

Let me know if you have any advice or tips on how you or someone you knew battled against Post Partum Depression.

XOXO

Your Basic Mom