First up in our Hell Yes, Women’s History Month guest series is Alyssa Kurtz, a jackie-of-all-trades who can plan the heck out of any event! Fun fact: Alyssa is Hope’s wedding planner and semi-colleague!
I’ve always had multiple jobs. Of course, my first and foremost job was considered school and the second were the extracurricular activities that went with school (sports, band, private music lessons, Pep Club, Student Council, etc.). In that sense, my first actual paying job was more like a third gig.
I remember being driven home from school or activities one day and saying to my mom, “Wow, I feel like I’m flame-juggling, spinning plates and standing on a ball all at once. This is all a balancing act,” which was responded with a, “Welcome to the Real World, kid.”
College quickly exacerbated my circus routine and I was often overly stressed and vulnerable to anxiety attacks. It took me some time, but I developed healthy routines to deal with it- regularly cleaning my apartment, sitting down to paint my nails weekly, and getting enough sleep. These three simple things were items that I had control over, despite the deadlines, expectations, and frustrating group projects that I couldn’t control.
Fast forward four years later. I still hadn’t kicked my high-functioning, hyper-busy lifestyle; I have a full-time job, active volunteer commitments, played in recreational sport leagues, had a committed and regular workout regime AND started a wedding planning side hustle.
The wedding planning had always been a passion of mine and I love helping to make someone’s special day so memorable and easy. However, I had begun to over exert myself. I said yes to too many things, eventually becoming super sick with prescribed exhaustion which took me out of commission for a bit. One particular event (not a wedding, thankfully) kept falling apart that was outside of my control and was especially difficult on me.
The weekend before this event, I planned a fun trip away in Philadelphia with my boyfriend to see a concert. However, the anxiety started to creep up of the things I could not control. Vendors kept backing out, the weather was not cooperating, decisions couldn’t be made, anything and everything was just not working out. There were so many times I just wanted to call it quits and hit the ‘Cancel’ button. I felt like I failed even before I actually could.
I cut our weekend short not being able to focus on enjoying our time in Philly. We returned home and I soon found myself lying naked on the floor, unable to move, cry, speak, or even think clearly. This was my breaking point and the most real and dark attack I’d ever experienced.
Eventually, I got up, made shit happen, and all worked out. It took a solid week to get out of that funk, but I had the support of my family, friends and boyfriend. I understand that not everyone has those resources or as quick of a bounce back.
Through my stresses from school, work, and side hustle, it’s an ongoing lesson in how to keep that balancing act up. I’m still not perfect and to this day, I still say “yes” to too many things. However, I’m returning back to my lessons learned and my own routines to keep myself steady and sane.
Here’s to you hoping you all find your own balance and know that it’s okay to fall off the balancing ball sometimes.
As Hope’s wedding planner, Alyssa helped her (literally zipped her into it) find THE dress. And talked her through many body image meltdowns.
And when you do, know you have a community of beautiful, strong, independent women to say, “girl, same.”
Alyssa works full time in Development for Benchmark Construction and started her own wedding planning business, Miss Lyss Planning in February 2019. When she’s not working, she can be found in the essie section of Target, on an adventurous vacation, or exploring the downtowns of Lancaster and York. Or making Hope run at full speed in 109 degrees to Wegmans to get more wine because Fete, Betch!